ill be your best kept secret

	Feb. 17th, 2005 @ 06:55 pm

You have a new message

1-800-SUICIDE
1-800-SUICIDE

Do you wanna die? (7x)

It's the beginning of the end
You want things to go faster
It's the beginning of the end
Now everything's too slow for you
It's the beginning of the end
You are one step closer
It's the beginning of the end
Say Amen

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

It's the beginning of the end
You know nothing last forever
A beginning of a trend
You need someone there to care for you
It's the beginning of the end
I don't think you understand
Just a beginning of a flatline
Together

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

Thank you for calling 1-800-SUICIDE...
If you wish to self-terminate by electric shock...shock...shock

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

Thank you for calling 1-800-SUICIDE
If you wish to self-terminate by electric shock, Press 1
For termination by overdose, press 2
If you would like to make a reservation to visit our drowning pool, please press 3
For termination by hanging, please press 4
For death by selfinflicted gunshot, press 5
To speak to a representative, stay on the line
If you do not wish to die, please hang up now

* i miss talking to jon..ehehe..i wont get to talk to him till sunday!! but its cool...hehe.he makes me smile n laugh alot <33 anyways.im on the fone with the sexy jaun..lol..he is awesome! Lol.yeah well i dunno..this weeek is gonna be pimpin though!! :-D RIGHT ON! leave me a comment if u wish...

Current Mood:

lonely

Current Music: I miss you-Bling 182

A Butterfly's Wings	Feb. 7th, 2005 @ 05:27 pm

Teardrops fell from the little girls face, as she held her mother's hand.
Sorrow filled her broken heart, as she fought to understand
Why her mother was dyeing, why she had to let her go.
And as her fear grew stronger, She felt her panic grow.

For how would she survive without her mother guiding her along?
Giveing words of encouragement, support to make her strong?
As the little girl garted to trembling, the tears continued down her cheeks,
She realized that the end was near, she'd prepared for it for weeks.

But now here in the moment, The little girl couldn't say good-bye,
Instead she stood there silently as her mother watcher her cry.
And as if her mother read her mind, or maybe her heart,
She spoke her final worlds, intended to leave their mark.

"Theres so many things i need to say, so many things befor i gp,
But time is of the essence, so its important that you know...
That sometimes, you'll feel powerless, believeing you can't win,
What others think of you will be the image you old within.

"You'll feel you have to follow quietly,at someone else's pace,
And be the image on magazine covers, the perfect smileing face.
With pressures to be perfect, you'll doubt yourself, and what you can be,
But I ask you Dear, whenever you doubt yourself, stop and think of me.

"For when i look into your eyes, I see a million stars,
Shining from within, all your magic and who you are.
In your face, a flower's blossom, a starlig winter's night,
A butterfly's wingers spread gracefully,withouy effort,taking flight

"A summer breeze and sunlight, colorful leaves found in the fall,
Springtime filled with new life;in you, Dear, I've found it all.
All in life that's remarkable, when I look at you, i See.
And if you can't believe that of yourself, then at least believe in me"

The little girl listened closely, as her mother's breath grew weak,
She wanted to remember every wordher dyeing brother foght to speak.
"You can always make excuses, or you can make great plans,
You can bow your head in shame, or, Dear you can take a stand.

"And know how well deserved your place is in this world.
Be a clear example, be a mentor to every girl.
Take pride in all you are...A woman who is strong,
Even when your stumble, when you feel like you dont belong.

"For god had a part is making you, and all that's on this earth,
And even if you dont reazlie it, you have tremendouse worth.
Four though a butterfly may seem delicate...Fragile to the eye,
Don't you overlook the face, it has what it takes to fly"

The little girl's mother closed his eyes; her life on earth was gone
But her words remainded behind, giveing the little girl the strenght to carry on.
For in her mother's words, she heard a message reliable and true:
There is nothing in this world that a woman cannot do.

Though there are often times when the little girl feels weak and small,
And it would seem easier to give in to others, instead of proudly standing tall,
She finds herself thingking clearly of all the little girls on earth.
Who feel so unimportant, not aware of their own worth.

And tehn she hears her mother's voice, from breeze softly passing by.
"Dont you overlook the fact, you have what it takes to fly."

Current Mood:

crappy

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

	Feb. 6th, 2005 @ 02:22 pm

i wish i could find the really me inside..:-(

Current Mood:

crappy

Other entries

Please tell me if u love me and please tell me why...

What if i kissed you, what would u do? if i told you i loved you what would u say?? If i walked away from you knowin i still love you but cant have you what would u do?? Tell me what would you do...

i had fun last night...thanks for givein me a great time.. :-D... also im gonna miss you max!!! i love you to death kid! keep in touch babe

*hugs n kisses* :-)

Feb. 5th, 2005 @ 01:28 pm

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

god....God i fuckin hate you!!! why cant u just stop bein a ass hole and get your head straight and trie to b a friend like u say u are but ur really not?! i swear i need to stop fuckin talkin and hangin around with u since u always fuckin do this to me!! now i realize i just wasted on my time on your punk ass!! so if ur readin this i hate you and i never wanna talk 2 u! if u see me dont say Hi to me if u even see my sn on line dont bother IMin me since i wont IM u back..im done with this our friend ship is over!! >:0

-i wonder sometime if i ever died would u even care or act like everything is ok??-

^comment if u wanna tell me or w/e?

Nate thnx for everything! i love u to death babe!

Jan. 22nd, 2005 @ 03:51 pm

yeah i kno i havent been updatein alot...sorry its because the fuckin compiter is bein a jackass and bein slow.anyways.yeah yesterday school found out i cut myself because one of my friends told on me cuz he was scared that i would do it again and make it worse.. :-( so they called my ma up and we had a meetin..the meetin wasnt that good.i just told them i did it cuz i was upset with what is goin on with my family since derk is in jail.. *crys* and like my mom is going crazy with my grades and shit..god i really don kno what the hell im gonna do..i hate what is goin on now.My family dont trust me with anything and think im a bad kid cuz i cut myself..i wish everything would turn out the way i wanna it to be...Meh i dunno...like the last comment nate left me ws i should move out there...as i really thought about it i really think i should move out there or somewhere to get away from here.it would be wonderful if i moved by nate and bein happy since he already makes me happy and smile. but i dunno if my dad would like the idea since some one fuckin stupid said something about nate and my dad didnt like it but i told him it wasnt true n all..so hopefully my dad will believe then believe that fuckin jack ass *coughDOUGcough* well i dunno im gonna go..comment if u want
Jan. 20th, 2005 @ 04:51 pm

lately ive been feelin depress..i dont know why.i just do.i feel like i wanna end everything right now but i just cant.i almost did end my life but god thought it wasnt my time to go i guess..but it wasnt brads time to go either but he still had to leave our lifes.so why wasnt it my turn to leave? i mean i kno a few people do care and love me but it isnt enough.not like the old times.when alot of people did care and love me.i just..i dont know.i wish i can leave this place and go somewhere i can be happy for once again. i really wanna get out of my depression thing..does anyone have anything that will help cuz i would love to hear your thoughts about it.

Jan. 18th, 2005 @ 02:55 pm

*~Merrivile area fuck wit us we bury ya~*

^ hahaha good times angel and joe..

yeah lately nothing has been happein.Tom came over last night when manda was here..but b4 that me and manda went up to the mall.she bought me the new crime mob cd! woot woot! lol.then we met up with matt and hung around with him!then i saw cole and katie cara and brittney lisa and koren and that was about it? then me n manda made sum new awesome friends name nick tony and tyler..hehe..i had a fun time!

Jan. 16th, 2005 @ 02:09 pm

God..cant this day just get even worst.Jon is tellin everyone he fuckin HATES me and says he never said that..god.i helped that kid out and this is how he acts tords me.i thought we were fuckin good ass friends but it turns out we're fuckin not..eh.Anywhom.oh man..i talked to brandon monday! god i miss that kid so much.Im his babys mommy i guess.Lol.yay! im talking to nate! woot woot! he is my love one and i love how he makes me smile and laugh so much!! <333 well i must go.!! comment if u must!
Jan. 12th, 2005 @ 09:04 pm

Whoa..last night was fun.I went up to Inmans and i hung around with Nick mike this kid that hung out with mike karen and this girl name Becky i think who went out with bub and this guy name josh.it was fun.Nick bit the shit out of my arm and now i have ANOTHER mark on my body from him and paul..so thats 3 bite marks all togethere!lol.i didnt see paul up there :-( he was at some guy house name timmy.and bub wasnt there to..god.i miss hangin out with them alot.it was fun.Oh me and nick were talkin about the fun times when him derek and bub stayed at my house and how he wanted to kill bub cuz he came in my room and slept and forgot about nick and derek.lol.good times.well hopefully i get to hang out there more now and see paul nick and bub..it sucks cuz derek moved to FL and isnt fun with out that kid! lol.anyways.yeah last night we fun when i got back to my house.John called and i hung up on him cuz he was pissin me off alot..I didnt talk to nate last night..:-/ i missed talkin to him.hehe.then oh yeah! i found out my others friend friend Kyle aka Meekiss is liveing here also with Jim..Yay! this is gonna fun time at my house!!! well i must update later im gonna go call john or kristin to see what is going on...Later Bitchs!!

P.s.* Im gonna give it to you just the way you like it.Im gonna give it to you just the way you want it.Im gonna give it to you just the way love it.Im gonna give it to you just the way you need it* ---hahaha good techno song!! Dont you think Bradly!? haha

Jan. 9th, 2005 @ 10:58 am

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
» I died from suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:

WOULD YOU:
» Lie to make me feel better?:
» Spread rumors about me?:
» Keep a secret if I told you one?:
» Hold my hand?:
» Take a bullet for me?:
» Keep in touch?:
» Try and solve my problems?:
» Love me?:
» Date me?:
Jan. 8th, 2005 @ 02:23 pm